Interview with Sukhmani Kaur

Congratulations on being selected as the Youth of the Month for May 2006. Please tell us a little bit about yourself to begin with, including your hobbies, interests, your job and memberships?

At the present I'm living in Southall, UK and teaching in Guru Nanak Sikh School, Hayes. My interests and hobbies change quite often, ones that I dedicate considerable time to are: Kirtan, dilruba, some web design, traveling, photography, movies, and guess the last one... Anybody?? Yeah, that word starting from "b" :) What did you think? Blogging.

How did you first come into Sikhi? What inspired you to become a Sikh? Was it difficult to understand a totally new religion at the young age of 16?

I think it's been now nearly 10 years since I first heard about Sikhs. I finished school in Moscow and went to University in 1996. I started attending Yoga classes to which some friends of mine introduced me. All that I heard about Sikhs was new to me. Although there are over thousand Sikhs living in Moscow I had never seen or heard of one before I started going Yoga classes. Two guys at these classes had their turbans and beards. They both were extremely skinny and very tall; they looked more like Sadhus then Singhs. So my initial impression of Sikhs was: ascetic discipline, healthy and inspired living, acceptance and understanding of the laws of the nature and Creation and respect for it. Naturally I felt pulled towards it.

I always consulted my dad on different matters in my life, so when I heard about Sikhs I spoke to him about that. His perception was quite different. (By the way, he was scientist, but had broadest knowledge in every aspect of life.) So he said that Sikhs are mostly merchants and military, nothing mentioned about spiritual side. I was slightly puzzled. Then one day I remember my dad and me were at Moscow airport Sheremetievo. I guess few people been there on the way to India from Canada or UK. So we were waiting for somebody and then my dad pointed out somebody and said: "Look there, these are Sikhs whom you were talking about!" That was probably my first encounter of Punjabi Sikhs. They proved my dads perception - they didn't look ascetic :) with their round bellies and tied beards.

I kept attending Yoga classes, learning meditation, Simran. Best thing I loved was meditations: chanting 'Vaheguroo' in a group of 60-70 people. I wouldn't say that there and then I have decided that I would pursue this path, I was just following its flow, unaware of where it will take me, but open to whatever would come, trusting its power, splendour and wisdom.

These first experiences in meditation and Simran were like opening a curtain on the window in the dark room and seeing these incredible colours of spring beyond. I was overwhelmed every time. In this inspiration I wanted to discover more and more.

What was your parents' reaction when you decided to follow the Sikhi lifestyle?

I think for them it wasn't so obvious at first what was happening. When they learned that I started attending Yoga classes they at first got happy: Yoga was much better than many silly things I was getting up to at that time. But I know they were quite surprised when I kept up with it. They thought this was just another phase, another craze and it will pass after couple of weeks.

In 1999 I went to Yoga festival in Moscow and came back with Dastaar. I was actually quite hesitant and really not looking forward to my dad's sarcastic comments about it. But when I entered the room where he sat reading paper, he was silent for few moments and then said: "It really suits you." I was soooo happy! Because I thought it's going to be really hard to get them to be ok with it. I wanted to wear Dastaar for a while then, especially after I attended Yoga festival in France a year earlier. My mom to this day asks me every time if I can take it off so she can see my hair... Oh, well... It was harder with Kirpan. My mum just wouldn't understand why I carry a 'knife' with me... Wouldn't mention anything about kashhere, LOL.

Everything else was up to me. I was already vegetarian since the age of 14. I always kept waking up at odd hours, so doing Amritvela in my room was ok too. Going Gurdwara for the whole day was good too, because they loved when I would bring back daal and sabzee from the langar :) So, I guess, I shall consider myself really lucky. I heard loads of stories from my friends here in UK when their Sikh parents would totally freak when kids decide to say keep hair or girl wants to tie a Dastaar.

When you came into Sikhi in Russia, there were very few Sikhs in Russia. Do you see any changes lately in figures there?

As far as I'm concerned figures have probably stayed more or less the same. Only maybe there are more Sikh families living in Moscow now than before. And it's probably going to increase because there's Gurdwara Sahib in Moscow now.

Also Russian people became more aware of Sikhs in the recent years. There were quite a few publications in newspapers and magazines regarding different aspects of Sikhi, mostly it was related to Nihungs, Shastr Vidia and Gatka. A friend of mine who works at one of the TV channels took a video crew to Punjab to make film/reportage about Gatka. Also with everything 'Indian' or generally 'Eastern' being considered cool and fashionable Sikhs and their turbans get more recognition or if not recognition then acceptance.

Just like you, many people from different backgrounds come into Sikhi. According to you, which is the best for them to get more knowledge about Sikhi?

I would say that background doesn't matter, what matters is open-mindness. If person has previous baggage of whole load of stuff about casts, gender discrimination, etc; that will take a while to get rid of. But probably it still doesn't matter, because if there's a quest for Truth within ones soul, background is no more then outer shell that would be dropped, when the true identity of a Sikh (learner) will be accepted.

As you probably noticed there are some people who try to create problems in our community by dividing the Sikh Kaum apart. What are your views on these types of issues and how can these be solved?

Yeah, living in UK I had chance to notice this... You always hear it everywhere: he is Taksali, she is AKJ, he is Nihung, etc. I wouldn't, probably, say anything new, but if everybody would stop judging and looking out for everybody else's mistakes and would concentrate on their own improvement, this would be perfect beginning for future unity. People from Sikhs (learners) become preachers, and from preachers became judges. But we are not here to judge, isn't it? He is.

One of the problems we find in Sikhi today is that when someone is given a bit of responsibility or they are actively involved in major projects, they are scrutinized and belittled by others due to jealousy or personal reasons. Have you ever fallen a victim to this yourself? And if so, what can be done to minimize the problem?

Ahm… we had this problem in Moscow with some Yoga classes and seminars. Since then I guess I try to not to get involved in all these politics, just do seva where's necessary. I think that's better attitude than fighting over a little power given. People do get wasted in fighting and being jealous of each other when all this energy might have been used in some positive way.

How you like your job teaching Sikh kids - the next generation of our Kaum?

Imagine, I say here – I hate it! LOL! Of course I like it. It's not even about Sikh kids, just about kids. But, of course, I get “cutified” every time I walk in playground and these little 4-year-old reception kids run to me with folded hands saying: “Sat Sri Akaal, Ms. Kaur!” I think I have this great chance to teach them about Sikhi at their young age. They are like sponges, so it is important to carry right message across. They hear many things at home, but not always in right details. I hear sometimes crazy things from them – like one of Vaisakhi being described as some type of bloody massacre; so we talk about it, look at the pictures, then next week they forget everything and we talk about it again. Some kids are really amazing with all their knowledge and gift of Kirtan. I see it very important to inspire them to try to understand the meanings of the Shabads and significance of certain traditions and customs.

You are a teacher in a Sikh Public School in UK and you deal with kids all the time. How do you think the adults or the youth can make it easy for kids to learn much more about Sikhi? What methods would you suggest so that the upcoming generation will be strong in Sikhi and have great self-esteem?

Main thing is that we should live it ourselves, not just talk about how it ‘should be'. When kids learn about things that they witness everyday, not just abstract idea, I think then it will make all the difference. For example, when parents do Amritvela, kids already know that it is important. It is essential to give them chance to actually experience things. When adults have some spiritual experience they can relate to, kids often have none. It's important to give them chance to take part and of course then explain the significance. They would grow strong if foundation is strong. Foundation includes parents first of all, then inspirational figures they might have met or heard of and, of course, understanding “why?” Why do we keep our hair? Why do we matha tek? Etc. Often problem is that parents do teach kids the right things but fail to explain them why it is so important. So while they are young they just keep doing it, but once they've grown up they'll ask why, and if parents will fail then and there will be nobody else to explain it kids surely will underestimate the significance of Sikhi.

You may have attended many Sikh camps. Do you think Sikh camps actually make any difference at all? Are camps with same layout/topics year by year getting common these days? If you were given the chance to run a camp, what would you do and how you will make it the BEST Sikhi based camp for the youth?

I have attended a few camps. The very first one was my best one. But I think it is different for everybody. People go to the camps for different reasons. Probably when most attendees come for socializing rather than spiritual experiences, it's perhaps the time to rename these camps. I haven't been going any camps for a while, mostly because you have to ‘fit in' with people, agenda, etc. But it wouldn't be fair to say that camps make no difference at all. Even if one person will learn how to become better or have experienced spiritual upliftment it is worthwhile.

How will I make the BEST Sikhi camp? You can't really say before you done one, isn't it? Presently Gurpreet Kaur and I are trying to organize one day Sikh camp for our school. We want to include about 300 kids from 10 to 14 years old. This will take place during school day and will consist of activities embracing variety of aspects relating to Sikhi. The reason we want to do it during school time is that all students, even and especially those who would otherwise never attend another Sikhi camp, would be included. The day will be broken up as usual school day, but every ‘lesson' will be related to Sikhi. For example: food technology – making Prashad; music – learning about tradition of Gurmat Sangeet; P.E. – Gatka, etc.

It is still a project; we are hoping to do it sometime in the end of June. And, by the way, we need sewadars, like many (about 30) of them :) so if you are interested, please, contact me.

Who has been your main source of inspiration, past and present?

Dedicated people, Masters. Those who can concentrate whole their life on achieving a goal, not like me, scattered all over.

Sukhmani Kaur, thank you very much for agreeing to participate. Is there anything else you would like to add? Any special message for the youth?

Sure! Get off the net, go get some fresh air! LOL!

Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa! Vaheguru ji ki FATEH!!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer the above questions,
and we hope you can continue to carry the torch of Sikhi and inspire others alike.
UnitedSikhs.com Team